Anybody Out There?

SWF, 25, looking for long term, (long distance?) relationship. I’m from Vancouver, Canada but love can be anywhere, right?

I’ve never tried sites like this before, but I figure it’s worth a shot. I’m a recent college graduate with a degree in Communications and I’m aspiring to be in advertising one day. I’m currently a waitress and working on paying off my student loans before taking on the world.

I grew up on a farm so I love horseback riding and the outdoors. I go camping and hiking all the time in the summer with my friends and family. The best place I’ve been to has got to be around Tobermory and Bruce Peninsula National Park. I’ve been into sports ever since I was 6. I figure skate, swim, and play volleyball and I try to work out every now and then. I’m an avid reader as well. When I’m not busy, I love to wind down with a good book and a mug of green tea in my Snuggie (yes, I bought one!). I love music too. I can tolerate just about anything except for most rap. I’m very corny but some would say I’m traditional. I’m not much of a cook (I make a mean bowl of cereal!) but I’d like to take classes one day.

My ideal guy: taller than me (I’m 5’5″), great sense of humour, and a love of the outdoors. He should be college educated with an eye on the future.

Sound intriguing? Shoot me a message and maybe we’ll talk some more. xox

The above was an example of an ad that one may find on a personals’ site. As a male, it was definitely a little stranger than usual writing from a perspective, but it was pretty fun (in a weird sort of way). As we know, it is not uncommon to see males assuming the persona of a female online (and vice versa). But are there some people who would assume the opposite gender roles in personal ads? Maybe. Personal ads on dating sites try to be realistic; after all, you are trying to connect to real people with real information. However, no matter how delicate situations like online dating can be, there is always the potential for a falsification of one’s personality.

Take this video for instance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc
The video is of a girl posting on EHarmony; it’s been widely seen by now and is commonly believed to be a spoof. Nonetheless, it seems real enough to be an actual ad.

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. Hey,

    I came across your profile and I’m glad I did. I’m new to this online dating realm as well, and I’ve got to say, it’s a strange experience. To be honest, my friend signed me up because I stopped going to the bar with him. I guess he figured if I wasn’t going to go out and try to meet someone new, then maybe I needed a new environment. I was pretty reluctant, but then I saw your profile and I decided I should give it a chance.

    I’m from Vancouver as well, and I just graduated from UBC with a Master’s in Engineering. This already sounds like an interview, eh? Not that much different though is it? I’ll be honest, I want to impress you. I’m 25, and I’m currently working with a private machinery and sales company.

    I’m a city guy. I came from Toronto, but my family moved to Vancouver when I was 16. I’m an outdoors guy as well though. Winter sports, that’s my thing, so I’m definitely lucky to be in Vancouver. Snowboarding and skiing are activities I always look forward to. I used to go camping all the time when I was younger, so I have fond memories from many camping excursions. I’ve always reveled in the liberation of sleeping outside. It’s nice that we have that in common.
    But my most frequent outdoors activity is jogging. Year round. I’m that crazy guy outside in January, wrapped in layers, with the red face and dry skin. I promise you, the feeling afterward is worth the pains of the cold.

    Height? I won’t tell you. Nothing wrong with a little mystery, right? I guess we’ll go from there.

    **

    I found your post really amusing. Firstly, because it was an online dating ad. And secondly, because you revealed your real gender after. I thought I would play on that and respond to your ad as a guy (I’m a girl). I found the experience really difficult, and as a result I can’t help but wonder how users participate in identity tourism in online dating, or on any Internet platform. I’m pretty confident that I still sound like a girl in my ad. It’s really challenging to construct an opposing identity without resorting to stereotypes and clichés. I suppose that affords me a new perspective on many of the essays we’ve studied throughout this course.

  2. Interesting gender plays going on. It’s a nice way of exploring firsthand the perspectives that this online form allows. I found rcl12’s comment–” It’s really challenging to construct an opposing identity without resorting to stereotypes and clichés”–worth considering. First–are male and female gender identities “opposed”? And second, I would have to do a little more investigation to be sure, but I’d suspect that “real” dating ads DO indulge in cliches and stereotypes to a high degree–it’s an easy way to get across your gender in shorthand form. There’s a necessary balance–some cliche in order to maximize the mental picture, but enough deviation to make one’s profile stand out.
    –MH

  3. To answer the question of male and female gender identities being “opposed” I would say not. Based on this post specifically, I would say that neither person made one sound strictly female or male, as they steered away from stereotypical female and male stereotypes for the most part. Hiking, camping and jogging for example are fairly “neutral” within gender stereotypes, and that is what both adds focus on. To be honest, I did not know what perspective either writer was (male or female) until they stated a he/she or stated gender preferance (and even that, I did not know at the time if this was a heterosexual or homosexual dating ad). Things such as the snuggie and green tea did make me think of a girl, but other than that I would say both posters stayed fairly gender neutral. I do think that is a really interesting concept of whether to place stereotypes in your ads (you want to be yourself, but you don’t want the person thinking you’re like a man, or for a guy you dont want the girl thinking you’re too feminine). What I really find intriguing is that since the first time I read this I thought the second poster was placing a homosexual reply ad, it got me thinking. Do you think that within ads that are not strictly heterosexual, that people rely on stereotypes more? As if you are a man hoping to attract another man, will you try to make yourself sound more manly or more feminine? (same thing for females). Though you should just be yourself, at this stage in the game you are always trying to impress, so which would you try to emphasize? And almost even more interesting, which stereotype would you play on more if you were bi-sexual, and your ad was looking for either a man or woman? As then you are trying to attract two stereotypically different needs and desires. I feel this would be an extremely interesting topic to look further into.


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s